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a vision

a vision, recovery

Be the heroine, not the victim

I saw this online yesterday on OAASIS Oregon and Just Tell‘s Facebook pages (check out both incredible advocates for ending child sex abuse please!) and thought “YES, YES, YES!” This is already my mantra but the lauded, wonderful Nora Ephron (who will be greatly missed) put it into the perfect words for me. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. What I endured doesn’t define me, but it has certainly made me stronger.

The darling of the country music scene, Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland, sings with such a sexy twang, “I believe that happiness is something we create.” And I wave my hand in the air like a passionate churchgoer every time she preaches because it resonates in my soul.


Whether or not I’ve been slightly delusional in my ability to find happiness in spite of my adolescence, it has brought me comfort to be able to control my future, to be able to delight in a sunrise, to melt when my sons hug me, to find friends who like me no matter what, to find real love.

I am working through all the abuse I took for so long now that I am emotionally ready to do so. But I am not wallowing in any self-pity, though I do occasionally shed tears for the little girl lost inside of me. I am living a very full and blessed life that I am proud of and fulfilled by.