a vision, recovery

Be the heroine, not the victim

I saw this online yesterday on OAASIS Oregon and Just Tell‘s Facebook pages (check out both incredible advocates for ending child sex abuse please!) and thought “YES, YES, YES!” This is already my mantra but the lauded, wonderful Nora Ephron (who will be greatly missed) put it into the perfect words for me. I am not a victim. I am a survivor. What I endured doesn’t define me, but it has certainly made me stronger.

The darling of the country music scene, Jennifer Nettles of Sugarland, sings with such a sexy twang, “I believe that happiness is something we create.” And I wave my hand in the air like a passionate churchgoer every time she preaches because it resonates in my soul.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gp5foT32tKM?rel=0&w=560&h=315]

Whether or not I’ve been slightly delusional in my ability to find happiness in spite of my adolescence, it has brought me comfort to be able to control my future, to be able to delight in a sunrise, to melt when my sons hug me, to find friends who like me no matter what, to find real love.

I am working through all the abuse I took for so long now that I am emotionally ready to do so. But I am not wallowing in any self-pity, though I do occasionally shed tears for the little girl lost inside of me. I am living a very full and blessed life that I am proud of and fulfilled by.

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  • Reply Corinne Shields July 6, 2012 at 2:25 am


    I’m very new to blogging, not what I expected, perhaps better than I expected. One of the great things is coming across people you could never have met otherwise and finding something to inspire.

    Work on that courage. Share your story.


    • Reply kirsten July 25, 2012 at 1:04 am

      Thank you, Corinne. I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and, perhaps, compliment me. I also appreciate your encouragement. I need every ounce of it.

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